" The minute I heard my first love story,
I started looking for you, not knowing
how blind that was.
Lovers don't finally meet somewhere,

they're in each other all along."

From Essential Rumi

by Coleman Barks


Thursday, July 29, 2010

A Phone-call to the Past



Hello sweetheart,
how are you today?

I just wanted to tell you:
It is good to dream,
and beautiful...
Sometimes dreams do come true:
One day you will have that brother
you’ve always wanted to have;

strangely enough,
he won’t be your sibling
nor your relative,
yet he will be closer to your heart
than anyone else you’ll ever know
in your entire life.

Does he know about you?
No, he does not know yet
but when you will meet
he won’t ever forget,
because he misses you
since the day he was born,
same as you miss him:
in your play,
in your drawings,
in your stories,
in your dreams...

Will he love you?
Yes, with all his heart and soul.

Will you be together forever?
Sorry baby,
the answer to that question
I still do not know...

Let’s dream together:
Sometimes dreams do come true.
It is good to dream
and beautiful...


Eterne
  July2010






Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Great White North



time
slow and heavy
does not move at all
the world's still and frozen
no soul around
no one to hear
the deadly silence
of the Great White North
looming
from you
my love


Eterne
April 2010



said it all


so many letters,
said it all
mountains of thoughts
crumbling into dust
*******************************************************
time passes  by
empty nights
rivers we cannot get into twice

our separate lives

parallel universes of needs and wants
of wanting and needing love

time passes by
rivers dry
turn into dust 

Eterne
April 2010



Yor Laughter



your laughter
crisp like a winter morning
sunlight in your eyes
warming my face
ravenous lips and fingers
searching my body
all over again
an exclamation of happiness
suspended
above my bed

your laughter


scream
long and silent
mouth grasping for air
 blue moon's light
above the black sea
 of my despair

your laughter

Eterne
February 2010





Monday, July 12, 2010

a walk on mt. royal



delicate wind stroking your radiant face 
 announcing spring on a gray winter's day
your funny hat with the strings I pulled
to touch your full lips
with mine
shy avid kisses on the cold bench
desire, joy and blind trust
in the wonderful  future in front of us
yours and mine
you and me
indifferent to the whole city spread at our feet
our being suspended
between You - I and Us
somewhere between the ground
and sky
inviting us to reach it
on immense white wings
of love

Eterne 
May 2010



Precious Heart




If I were crying for a Tree’s love
the tree would weep,
would bind me in its branches and lift me to its crown
to rock me and soothe me;
 my eyes kissed by its leaves .

If I were crying for Wind’s care
the wind would howl
its balmy breath would dry my tears,
and warm  my soul
whispering the words of love.

If I were crying for Ocean’s kindness
the ocean would moan
its waves would surround me and hold me tight
allow me to know its unknown.

If I were crying before a Mountain
the way I am crying for your love
it would come closer, lean over,
embrace me, and give me hope.

I have the whole wide World open to love
yet I have no strength to unlock Your Heart;
it seems to be as tough  as diamonds,
under heat and force hardened over time.

Eterne
May 2010

Void


How can I describe the void
created by your absence?

A vast tall room with lights too bright,
where each sound echoes from the bare walls and floors
imitating life
my scattered thoughts gathered around the black gaping hole
in my heart
A glass dome around me not allowing others to come close,
afraid of my suffering, as if it were a contagious disease...
Leprosy of heart
Good people leaving crumbs of empathy,
glad they could aid without exposing themselves
to my pain,
they cannot cure or help.

So I am wandering aimlessly
alone
carrying a clapper and a bell,
walking half-dead through purgatory on earth.

Eterne
April 2010

Predicament


Please darling, remind me
- wasn't that you who said:
"There is no such a thing
as a throw-away intimacy"?

Let me guess what happened to ours
since we did not throw it away...
Did we suspend it like laundry
on the clothes line drying in the air?

Or did we put it on the highest shelf
at the back of the wardrobe
for a season when we need
something much lighter and care-free?

Maybe we stored it in the attic in the coffer
with baby's clothes and wedding gowns
for the next twenty-five years or so?

Did we recycle it by a mistake?
But that doesn't make any sense:
We wouldn't put into a recycling bin
a book of art to be processed into a paperback!
No, that's just a pure nonsense!

Oh what a predicament!
I am looking for it all over the place
and I cannot find it anywhere.
Yesterday it was here
and then suddenly it disappeared!

Please, sweetheart, help me look for it
because I know that I did not throw it away,
and I don't believe that you did,
since you think that there isn't such a thing
as a throw-away intimacy!

Eterne
June 2010

Sadness


Sadness

absent thoughts
indifference
numbness
tears rolling down
my heart's pouring sadness


Eterne

   
If

"I know I could be very happy with you" 
- Oh, I know that you could! 

And I know I could be very happy with you
- If you only would...
 
Eterne


   
    Uncertainty

      suspended
      in  empty  space
      no  floors,  doors,  windows
      no  way
      to  escape


        Eterne
      



April 2010



Saturday, July 3, 2010

Untimely


To walk away from love
is to bereave,
to bring an ill-timed death:
An infant born after he died
who was never able to see the light
or take his first breath
and was never given a chance for life;
death of a  child,
a teenage suicide
precluding maturity and to live full life;
a hasty death in the time of prime
with broken promises of many years ahead
while children are still young
- there are no answers, no explanations why...

There are no words to convey
the anguish and sorrow
of those who love,
who are left behind to accept and understand
The Incomprehensible. 

They are left to grieve their losses
with the same bewilderment
in their eyes:
In the aftermath 
of an untimely death
or of their lovers fear of  love...

Eterne, 
June, 2010

Friday, July 2, 2010

Not Interested



I really don't want to get to know you.
I cannot care less.
I am sure you are a wonderful person,
witty and intelligent.

I know your children mean the world to you

and they always come first ...
right after your career
and money-making quests.

I am not interested in how well you are doing
or how life is not fair.
I am not going to be a good listener,
and I don’t want to pretend.

I don’t want to know your story

and what you have learned.
I am not interested in your background
and who you’ve become.

I’m sure you are as open-minded as one can be

and are interested in other cultures, creeds and cuisines.
Your future plans mean nothing to me
just like your daily running, biking or gym.

I don’t want to take a coffee to see if we click,

and I am not interested in checking if there is chemistry.
I know that we spoke and understood what we’ve said,
but that does not mean that we did really connect.

Don't try to cram me in a box  with a label on the top of it

and then tell me who I am, what I think and how I feel:
Rest assured that your "thin slicing" method is too thick
and you would need years to understand me!
 
I don’t want to know how great a kisser you are
and how fantastic could be our sex.
I don’t want you to pamper and spoil me ...
or get on my nerves.

I am sure that you're handsome
and as good looking as you say,
and that the belly you're carrying around
you will lose any day now.

I don’t want to be your mistress or your sugar babe;
I’ m not looking for a one night stand
with a perfectly strange man.
The phrase “No Strings Attached fun" is preposterous.

I don’t want to take it slowly
and become friends first
I don’t want to marry you - ever
or become your forever girl-friend.

I don’t want to be lovers and friends,
I’m sure I am not the one who is your soul mate,
and I don’t think
you could ever manage to sweep me off my feet.

I don’t want to know you, I don’t want to date.
Don’t take it personally though; do not despair:
It is not about you - it is all about me!
You are really great;
It's just that I am in love
with somebody else.

Eterne
June 2010