" The minute I heard my first love story,
I started looking for you, not knowing
how blind that was.
Lovers don't finally meet somewhere,

they're in each other all along."

From Essential Rumi

by Coleman Barks


Saturday, August 28, 2010

[It is not getting easier]

It is not getting easier with each passing day...
They say:
"Time heals everything"
"Time makes you forget"

But what meaning does time have?
We are just a speck in eternity:
What difference does make a day,
a few months or a thousand years?

How can time contain love?
We are a part of eternity
and so is love: Immeasurable entity
and a part of us.

They say:
"Time heals everything"
"Time makes you forget",
but it is not getting easier with each passing day...

Maybe they really don't know much?
Scrupulous accountants
meticulously processing minutes of their lives,
slaves of time they created
oblivious to the strength of love.

Eterne

May 2010


Ash Tree


When we spoke about the tall gray ash tree
in front of my bedroom window,
you've asked me:
"Can you see the sky when there are leaves?"
Then you came when the tree
was adorned with thick green foliage
- and we could see the blue sky
from our hide-away in my tree-house.
Now again the tree is full of young leaves
and I see the sky, despite that you are not hiding with me…
Yet there is snow falling on the new leaves in May;
It is snowing in my heart as well.
Such a strange Spring we have this year...

Eterne
May 2010

Lament


How far do I have to swim against the current
to reach the shore of peace?
How high need I walk uphill
to reach the summit and see
the landscape and the road leading me?

How fast do I have to run against the wind?
How much longer can I sail in storm and thunder
without letting my boat sink?
How much more strength do I have
to do the Sisyphus' job against everyone's will?

Who is there to lend me a hand?
Is there anybody to inspire me and praise,
to let me know that my labors are not in vain?
Is there anyone on my side, who wishes me well?

I've called, many times
and I thought I've heard someone answering my cries,
but it was just my own voice
echoing....

Eterne
June 2010

Harbor


Just seconds before I fall asleep
I go back to a place  
of calm happiness, peace and tranquility…
Turbulence of the troubled world drift away,
nothing matters, I feel safe;
my heart is home to me.

The same way I feel
when you are holding me:
calm happiness, peace and tranquility…
Turbulence of the troubled world drift away,
nothing else matters, nothing else exists;
your arms are home to me…
        
         This moment brings us together; before I fall asleep,

even when you are distant; amid the storms and rain,
every night I feel the safe harbor of your embrace...
I just have to reach it and make peace.
Nothing matters; nothing else exists;
loving you is home to me...

          Eterne
          May 2010

Quiet Desperation

to Robert

Quoting a Very Famous Person,
Robert said so many times
that most people live the lives
of a quiet desperation.

They grind their teeth while smiling
to keep the appearances
of effortless happiness and success
- whatever they mean by that!

They are making their parents proud:
Getting married, build careers,
pleasing spouses, raising children;
in their lovely picket-fenced homes
they fear their own freedom.

They expect great rewards in this or in an after-life
from the cruel gods they choose to fear:
For living a loveless life, and for not knowing who they are;
for selling their soul to the devil of Compliance
who charms them with a sweet talk,
and looking deeply into their eyes
sways them to follow the one who follows last.

And only sometimes
when their spouse sleeps soundly at their side,
in the deepest dark of the night
secretly they take off their masks
and allow themselves to be who they are.

Feeling the loneliness of their own being,
staring at the ceiling during sleepless nights
with emptiness in their eyes and dry throats
or quietly crying in their pillows,
they yearn to be loved.

I am sure that the degree of desperation
varies from person to person;
sometimes it is bearable, sometimes they break free
like I did...
But I thought they always can get off their knees
and choose not to live such life
of a quiet desperation.

I've learned only now
that sometimes the choice has been made for us:
I did not choose for you to be gone,
I did not choose to cry at night,
I did not choose not to see the love in your eyes.
I didn't choose to keep the appearances
and smile while inside I'm falling apart.

Without your love
my life has become one of those lives
Robert was talking about,
echoing a Very Famous Person:
Without your love I live a life
of a quiet desperation.

Eterne
June 2010


Serene Highness

for François
 

contradictions
of your slender body
your stout hands
warm, decisive and giving
tenderly reaching
my inner being
through the refined touch of my skin

tides of caresses
bringing natural patterns
and rhythms
raising my body
to breath
my heart racing
to live

slowly
gradually
heavily
weighting my skin
pulsating with intensifying passion
in every heartbeat

my hesitating psyche
defeated
by your lips and tongue
whispering prayers
of a prodigal son
in an ancient dialect
known only to lovers
since the dawn of time

my conquered body prevails
willingly
until
the excruciating craving
of my elevated entity
to meet your consciousness
in anew dimension
erupts
in the waves of demise

ecstasy
serenity
peace

the tempest concluded.
bringing me back to life,
your soul peeking lovingly into mine:
my slave
my victor
my lover
your fond sweet kisses
soothing playfully

until the next tide

Eterne
August 2010




Saturday, August 21, 2010

fairground ride


like a ghost train
speeding through the black velvet
of a summer night,
bright lights at the crossroads
gray or sunny days
landscapes and people passing by
cold winds, eyes tearing
cities, streets and feelings
conversations, cries and laughter
someone playing Chopin
scent of blooming jasmine
always different yet still the same
repeating rhythms, colours and patterns
leading to nowhere
making no difference
leaving no trails
ending whenever
started by a chance
my life
different yet the same
as everyone else's
variations of the same theme
coincidences in clusters


Eterne
June 2010