" The minute I heard my first love story,
I started looking for you, not knowing
how blind that was.
Lovers don't finally meet somewhere,

they're in each other all along."

From Essential Rumi

by Coleman Barks


Narcissus

 

to Maria G.

of an unwanted child
i want to shed the past
like an uncomfortably small
restricting hide
i don’t want more memories
more stories
more hurt
i don’t want to know
about the venom you’ve spreaded
around others and yourself
i’ve learned about you so much more
and not one thing was good
i want to say good bye to you
once and for all
let’s make a pact:
we’ve had our time together
forever it had passed
let’s leave it at that

Eterne
11.11.2010


What the Bell Tolls


It is true what a poet said: 
The bell tolls to all of us
no matter how far away we are.
But does it, really?
What if the bell tolls
to rejoice the new beginning?

I have the certainty
that the invisible threads
connecting me with those I love
are not the matter of my imagination
but a reality

and I doubt
that they cease when we die.

I hope one day we’ll meet again,
and we’ll hug,  talk, and laugh to tears
like we used to on good days
in those precious moments,
when we were happy together,
and nothing mattered
except our bond,
except our love.

Eterne
30.09.2010

 

The Passage

While I didn’t know about your illness
and  that your life was approaching an end, 
for months, my body and mind
associated you on a journey
to your egress:

I felt the painful feelings you’ve had
and suddenly, I was physically ill
the doctors surprised and alarmed;
my body and mind overwhelmed,
in pain, darkness, and despair
unaware of the true reason behind.

I went again through my whole life
and the life you and I did not have,
I counted my sins and good deeds
and cried over the sins against me.
I saw my life ending, time and again.

When I was little, you’ve held my hand,
and led me with you, wherever you went,
now, half world away and years apart,
you’ve held my hand through the passage
to your entry to The Other Side.

At the Gates
you’ve let go of my hand
to follow your own Destiny
and I came back to live:
Once again,
I'm alone 

and I am free.


Eterne
12.09.2010