this morning

i am sitting here alone

feeling you in me

listening to pink floyd

i don't know how much i still have

i don't know how much i have lost

do i hear the music i love?

are my feelings true?

do i think what i think,

do i see what i do?

so many questions

no one to answer

all i know is

i am sitting here alone

feeling you in me

listening to pink floyd

Eterne
April 2010

Too much?

I think of the aura of you, and I miss you...

I think of your scent, voice and touch,

your beautiful mind and generous heart,

I think of the peace I find in your arms,

and I keep asking myself:

Is that too much for me to have near by?

Don't I deserve to be loved every day,

instead of once a year?

Or is that, too,

too much?

Eterne

May 2010

I'm glad

I am glad that you are OK,

that you are active as always,

healthy and well.

It was good to hear your voice,

to know

that I am not in love

with a ghost.

Your voice so sexy - ah!

started me thinking
about what we are

missing now...

I am glad that you are well

and maybe even happy,

unlike I;

but it is good to know,

that between the two of us

at least one is doing fine.

Eterne,

June 2010

Drops of Hope

                 
                 
                 When the loved one hurt you,

  tears carry hope for renewed love,

  as  spring raindrops promise new life

           after a dark winter of wind, snow and ice.

         

 If there were no love, no hope

 - cold heart turns tears into rime;

 you may cry inside,

 but your eyes will stay dry.                                                

   

   When hurt,

   for as long as  sprouts of  hope 

   germinate under tending rays

   of your heart's love 

  - you will cry 

Eterne 
May 2010

pretend-death

When I wanted to cut my veins
sitting on the cold bathroom floor
holding a broken glass bottle in my hand
I suddenly thought
about my beautiful three-month-old daughter
my first born
her helplessness and innocence
and how much love she would need to grow.
She saved my life.
I couldn't kill myself, and I never will;
my children's birth is my rebirth.
Yet sometimes I wish
I could just curl up and die in my sleep
not to feel the anguish of your pretend-death.
With no service to attend, no farewells to say,
no last kiss on a cold forehead,
no graveside to visit.
You are just a heartbeat away
but it feels like Eternity.

Eterne

May 2010

Escape

I wish I could run away from you,
like you ran away from me:
Erase you from my memory,
deny that you exist.

I wish I could no longer see
you looking right at me,
love glowing in your eyes
warming my face and my heart.

I wish I could leave behind
my body remembering your touch,
my senses recollecting
the scent and silkiness of your skin.

I wish I could leave for a place
where your being does not run through my veins,
and the threads sending your thoughts to me
ceased to exist.

I wish I could sleep
without you frequenting my dreams,
with no memories of the peace I feel
when you are embracing me.

Your presence in my home;
Your existence in me;
Your company which everywhere follows; 
I wish   I   could   just   leave.

I wish I could just forget you,
like you have forgotten me:
Erased me from your memory,
denied that I exist.

Eterne 

April 2010

ReArrangements

Every day I promise myself:
Today
I will make the phone calls, send the letters,
manage the appointments;
I will read what I was supposed to,
I will write what I did not finish;
I will make some rearrangements in the kitchen,
in my notes, in my papers, on my shelves;
I will put my life in order,
the way it was meant to be.
And everyday I accomplish
nothing
I just manage to breathe...

I still live...

Now -
I just have to add the meaning

 

Eterne

April 2010

My Dream

I had a dream last night:
My lover–to-be from long ago came to find what we’d lost.
Then we were both at the crossroads and weren’t bold enough
to fall in love against the complications in our lives.
It wasn’t a good decision. I knew it then,
so he came to make up for the lost time.

We were kissing and caressing each other with great eagerness
and I closed my eyes very tightly and said to myself:
“I have to, I have to forget about him” — thinking of my love who left.
And my lover-to-be said: "You’ve had such a strange expression on your face”

Two school girls came to our bedroom,
obviously best friends who love and hate each other – and themselves.
They were arguing and talking like an old married couple: "you always, you never,
you always take, you always want, you never say.…"
And instead of making love we ended up talking care of those two best friends.
They parted ways,
and my ex lover-to-be and I too had to go back to our respective lives.

Nothing changed:
the past went back to the past,
the girls continued their friendship the only way they knew how,
and I woke up to face another empty day

with no love I wanted to forget.

Eterne

April2010

Don't take too long...

Perhaps at age fifty

you’ve just started to bud,   

discovering that the world is not always

what they’ve made you trust.

Perhaps at age fifty

you've just begun

exploring the avenues far away

from the confident track

of your well-intended life.

Perhaps this will yield fruits

at sixty-five

and you will live to enjoy them

till the ripe age

of ninety-nine.

At fifty

I already feel old and wise

having had the experience of multiple lives

And I know

there might be no tomorrow; we might not last.

Our lives are here and now

and this is the time to love.

Eterne

April 2010