When I wanted to cut my veins
sitting on the cold bathroom floor
holding a broken glass bottle in my hand
I suddenly thought
about my beautiful three-month-old daughter
my first born
her helplessness and innocence
and how much love she would need to grow.
She saved my life.
I couldn't kill myself, and I never will;
my children's birth is my rebirth.
Yet sometimes I wish
I could just curl up and die in my sleep
not to feel the anguish of your pretend-death.
With no service to attend, no farewells to say,
no last kiss on a cold forehead,
no graveside to visit.
You are just a heartbeat away
but it feels like Eternity.
Eterne
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