" The minute I heard my first love story,
I started looking for you, not knowing
how blind that was.
Lovers don't finally meet somewhere,

they're in each other all along."

From Essential Rumi

by Coleman Barks


Thursday, June 17, 2010

pretend-death



When I wanted to cut my veins
sitting on the cold bathroom floor
holding a broken glass bottle in my hand
I suddenly thought
about my beautiful three-month-old daughter
my first born
her helplessness and innocence
and how much love she would need to grow.
She saved my life.
I couldn't kill myself, and I never will;
my children's birth is my rebirth.
Yet sometimes I wish
I could just curl up and die in my sleep
not to feel the anguish of your pretend-death.
With no service to attend, no farewells to say,
no last kiss on a cold forehead,
no graveside to visit.

You are just a heartbeat away
but it feels like Eternity.

Eterne
May 2010




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